After recent failures, the broadcaster responsible for ESC in the Netherlands has been changed from NOS to TROS, who is to add professional expertise to the selection process.

Unfortunately, no one informed TROS how that Dutch Schlagers from the 1950 don't exactly go down well in European ears, or that there should be at least a bit of logic in how the song or the artist are chosen, so we ended up with this.

Sha-la-lie.

The Netherlands is likely the only country where you could legally smoke a joint while riding a bicycle on a sea-reclaimed polder to attend your same sex partner's euthanasia appointment. It is also a kingdom with rich history of conquests and art, which since became an overpopulated bog with 16 million people crowding a small area - Europe's equivalent to Bangladesh.

Despite its harsh language which sounds like eating pigs, the Netherlands won the Eurovision 3 times in Dutch and once more in English. The last was in 1975 and they have lost the plot since.

Facts
Capital: Amsterdam
Seat of government and queen: The Hague
So why is the capital Amsterdam: Nobody has a clue
Economy: Electronics, finances, petroleum refining (with by-products such as kerosene, asphalt, and Edam cheese)
Motto: "Hoppa!"